so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
