The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
high people should be assigned attendants
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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