Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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