then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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