he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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