i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
