I'd wear matching sweaters with you
and you said cock pushups were impossible
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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