I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
This is my gift to your gina
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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