Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
