How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
