Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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