You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
