Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
