Nicole vs. Life
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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