even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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