Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
