Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I want to fling myself into the sun
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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