My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
