i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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