i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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