Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
