It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
