the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
