I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
