Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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