over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
