I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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