someone threw a dead crab at me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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