he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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