It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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