You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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