Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
someone owes me an orgasm
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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