I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
