Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
pray to the hookup gods
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
