yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
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