Can Purell be used as lube?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
