he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Enjoy the penises
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
