i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
