If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
