i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
