Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
