can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
