How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
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I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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