I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
