U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize