you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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