im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
