I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You smell like stripper and shame
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
