Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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