why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
