tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
