My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Randomize