he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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